Craft fair prep, travel prep

The alarm woke me at 6 a.m. today. I had a craft fair to get to by 8 a.m. and I needed to shower, shave, eat and pack the car before I could leave. Fortunately, the site was only about 15 minutes away. I didn’t sleep well last night.

Jane and I were lucky.

I didn’t sleep well six years ago either. Jane and I came back from Dana-Farber late in the day. We’d had appointments with her oncologist and a nutritionist, as well as her regular labs and a Sandostatin injection. When we got home, for the first time, I had to carry her up the stairs.

Craft items

I got set at the craft fair pretty quickly. I’ve been at this long enough that I have a basic design for the table pretty well down. I’ve simplified some things, so I carry fewer boxes. I’ve started a new line this fall: I’m selling limited editions of photographs I’ve taken.

I didn’t sleep well six years ago…

I’ll add some zebra-themed hats, scarves and other items as soon as I get the time to get over to Rhode Island to pick them up from the group that is making them. I also have some nice hand-crafted earrings and knitting items.

Medical craft

But there was nothing routine about November 12, 2010. Jane and I slept in because I didn’t have to work. I had an in-service day at school, but my principal had strongly suggested she would not object if I spent the day with my wife instead. I hadn’t told her that was my plan in any event. Jane’s health was declining rapidly.

I got set at the craft fair pretty quickly.

We were sitting together in the living room when the phone rang. Her heart surgeon had talked with her oncologist and cardiologist. Apparently, he didn’t like what he heard. He wanted to schedule Jane’s surgery for Monday or Thursday.

Decision point

We wanted a few minutes to talk about that before deciding which day. We both felt sooner was better than later. She was worried about a cold she thought she was fighting off, but we both remembered me carrying her up the stairs the night before.

…he didn’t like what he heard.

We called back and told them Monday. They told us to arrive on Sunday afternoon.

Photographer’s craft

There are three kinds of photographer. The most common is the person simply trying to capture an event so they can remember it later. The second is concerned with sculpting an image made of captured light. The best photographers do both simultaneously. I’m not that good.

We wanted a few minutes…

On a good day, I’m capable of being the second, but I have to think about what I’m doing. I don’t do well with moving targets even then. If I get one good image out of every 200, I’ve done well. I have just six photographs I am pleased enough with to hang in my house or sell to others.

Our last trip together

I knew Jane was in pretty serious trouble the day before the operation when we drove to the hospital in Boston. I’d had to help her off the toilet that morning before we left the house. I had to go into the Women’s Room at a rest stop on the way up to help her again.

I’m not that good.

I helped her out of the car when we arrived and when I came back from putting the car in the parking garage, she was in a wheelchair, almost weeping. She apologized for me having to carry her bag and push her to the ward she would stay on that night. She just couldn’t walk that far.

The craft of craft fairs

It’s 10:15 a.m. and the craft fair isn’t going very well. I’ve talked with one person about NET cancer. Three or four more have drifted past. Mostly, it’s been crafters talking to crafters. There are three people here I know from other shows. We’ve checked in with each other and will talk as the day goes on. We’re all hoping things will pick up.

She just couldn’t walk that far.

Sometimes they do. Sometimes they don’t. You hope the people running the show know what they are doing—that they’ve done the advertising and the public relations stuff. Even if they have, you are at the mercy of the weather and who else has fairs where that weekend. Walking with Jane has run one in June for five years. Traffic is different every year.

The surgeon’s craft

Even an average heart surgeon needs to be better at their job than I am as a photographer or an event organizer. Jane’s surgeon was brilliant. Jane’s heart was so damaged he had to sculpt the muscle to craft a new seat for the valves he installed. Despite his skill, Jane would need a pacemaker to keep her heart beating for the time she had left.

Sometimes they do.

Jane’s surgery was supposed to take 3-4 hours. It took 12. I paced the waiting room. I walked up the hill to a church not far from a place I lived as a student. I tried to distract myself with television shows we liked to watch. I stared out the windows at the lights of the city. Nothing eased the waiting.

The craft of waiting

This morning, I deal with another kind of waiting. Nothing is at risk beyond my ego. And it’s not taking any serious damage. Someone asked, again, if my photographs are watercolors. I take that as a compliment. It’s part of what happens for me when I am seeing light and capturing it the way I want to. A few others have whispered, “Beautiful.”

Nothing eased the waiting.

Of course, there’s always the person who thinks the camera is more responsible for the quality of the picture than the photographer. There’s this much truth to that: the quality of the lens and the quality of the sensors do make it possible to more accurately capture the light we see. You can take a good picture if you have the skill with a point-and-shoot camera. I’m not sure you can take a great picture with one—though some of what I’m seeing from the latest phones is pretty impressive.

The surgeon’s tools

A surgeon has to have the right tools to do the fine work that heart or brain surgery requires. Hand them a Swiss Army Knife or an Exacto knife and they can certainly do more with it than the average person can. Serous work demands serious tools. But it also requires more knowledge and practice than most of us can imagine.

I take that as a compliment.

Hand me the best scalpel in the world and you still don’t want me doing surgery on you. I can paint with words, I can paint—sort of—with light. But I am more craftsman than artist. Jane’s surgeon was an artist—and Jane’s condition required he create the medical equivalent of the Mona Lisa. You don’t pay a person like that based on the tools they use.

The art and craft of medicine

Jane and I were lucky. At every step we encountered people who knew what they were doing at the very highest levels of their art. When we encountered people who were not, they were smart enough, and wise enough, to pass us on to those who were.

Jane’s surgeon was an artist…

That doesn’t always happen. If the nearest NET cancer specialist works a day or two away—as is too often the case—the patient is stuck. We need more NET cancer doctors, more NET cancer centers, more NET cancer research. Otherwise, it’s like a craft show with no crafters for people looking for something that works.