When last I hugged my wife

Three years ago today, I held my wife’s hand as her life support was removed piece by piece. I held her hand and talked to her and read to her and chanted my mantras for the dying. And as she breathed her last I caught that breath and merged it with my own.

…be extra kind even to those you do not know today.

Today, I weep for the loss of her body and smile for the state of her soul. I miss her smile, her laugh, and her mind. I miss all the things we did together and it hurts to do them alone. I cannot write but I think of her. I cannot walk but I think of her. I cannot cook but I think of her. I cannot even clean but I think of her.

You do not know the burdens they carry

Hug your spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend extra hard today. Hug your child your parents and your grandparents extra hard today. Hug all the people in your life today and hold them close to you–you do not know when–or if–you will ever be able to hold them close to you again.

I miss her smile, her laugh, and her mind.

And be extra kind even to those you do not know today. They may bear burdens you know nothing of: They may be dying and facing that death alone; they may be mourning a death–and mourning that death alone; they may be taking care of someone who is ill or dying and feel the world has left them on the tip of that awful spear alone; they may not know when they will eat again or where they will sleep tonight. The world is filled with trouble. Do what you can to ease the paths of those who are hurting and hungry and alone.

Be well. Be thankful for what you have–and be mindful, always, of the needs of others.
–Harry Proudfoot

If you are in the same position I am, you can find help for your grief at griefhealingdiscussiongroups.com. They have been a full raft in a very stormy sea for me–and will be for you as well. There are specific groups for specific kinds of loss, all moderated by very caring and knowledgeable people who know what it is to lose someone.