The irony of NET cancer

That Jane’s final struggle with NET cancer came in October, November, and December has a nasty irony to it.

Halloween was one of our favorite holidays, as were Thanksgiving and Christmas. In truth, they were our three of our four favorite days of the year. Only our anniversary meant more to us–and it really launched the season, falling on September 2.

 I won’t stop…

But Halloween was especially uplifting for us both. We would start setting up the windows and the yard early in the month. Just before Halloween she would choose a design and trace it onto the pumpkin I had either grown in the garden or we had picked out at some farm stand.  That afternoon we would put out the gravestones she had made and prepare the candy and our costumes.

Net cancer as goblin

Jane loved to see the little ones in their costumes as we handed out the candy. She would tell them how scary or how cute they were. Whether it was the first trick-or-treater of the night or the 200th, the enthusiasm never left her voice.

Jane’s last two Halloweens were difficult for us. In 2009 she was recovering for the H1N1 flu and the pneumonia that followed quickly on its heels. I handled the candy duties, but she sat at the top of the stairs watching and handing out compliments through the night.

 She came home in a hearse…

She could not do even that a year later. The NET cancer had ravaged the valves in the right side of her heart by then She had to keep her legs elevated and there was not space at the top of the stairs for the love seat or couch she was largely confined to by then. Sometimes she would get up and look out the window if I told her there was a particularly neat costume coming down the street. Sometimes when I came up the stairs to refill the candy bowl I could see the gleam in her eyes and knew she had been fighting off the tears.

NET cancer’s endgame

By the time her birthday arrived in mid-November she was already in the hospital. She had fought off the first carcinoid attack the night before. A carcinoid attack is always a concern with NET cancer, especially after surgery. But she survived it–and joked with the doctors and nurses that she had gotten a new heart for her birthday. A week later she was in a coma.

…the NET cancer dealt us a quick, cruel blow…

But she woke up in time for Thanksgiving–and neither of us was ever more thankful than on that day. There was no turkey and stuffing. She ate some chicken broth and I had a bowl of pumpkin soup. We both thought she had turned the corner.

But the NET cancer dealt us a quick, cruel blow that Friday night. She became delirious, then drifted back into a coma early Saturday morning. I seriously thought about letting her go then, but her doctors had one more thing to try–and we had sworn we would do everything we could to beat this thing.

Jane’s last NET cancer battle

And what they tried–massive doses of octreotide designed to break the carcinoid attack for good and all–worked. Jane woke up and got stronger every day. They put in a pacemaker to help her heart keep rhythm. Her blood pressure rose and stabilized. We talked about her leaving the hospital by Christmas for rehab. I could not think of a better Christmas present for either of us.

…the enthusiasm never left her voice.

She came home for Christmas–but not in the way we had hoped for. She came home in a hearse and we buried her seven days before Christmas.

I promised her I would put up a Christmas tree, and I did. I put the ornaments she had made over the years on it.

And I promised her I would keep fighting NET cancer–keep fighting it until it was dead.

The NET cancer vampire

This afternoon, I will finish putting up the Halloween decorations.

Halloween was one of our favorite holidays…

Tonight, the little ghosts and goblins and witches will come up the concrete stairs to the door. I will tell them they are cute or scary as I add a bit more candy to their collection. And tomorrow…

Tomorrow, I will continue the fight against the vampire they call NET cancer—and I won’t stop until I have put a stake through its heart and reduced it to dust.