Henry Blake: Rule One is that in war, young men die.

Hawkeye Pierce: So what is Rule Two?

Henry Blake: Doctors can’t change Rule One.

–Quoted from a MASH episode from memory.

I feel a lot like Hawkeye Pierce in that episode tonight. Truth be told, I feel like Hawkeye most days. I am an idealist who is constantly confronted with bitter realities that are often beyond my power to change. That does not mean I stop trying. But it does mean that some days I want to chuck it all and pretend to be dead–as Hawkeye does in another episode.

Last night I went to a benefit concert in New Bedford that raised money for the Devin Laubi Foundation. The group raises money to help young people who have been stricken with cancer and their families. It was formed several years ago after Devin died because his parents saw a need and sought to fill it.

This afternoon I went to a barbecue set up by the family of Susan Borden as a benefit. Susan has days–perhaps hours–to live. She was diagnosed about a year ago with a cancer that has metastasized to her spinal column. I lost an uncle to a similar cancer. I know how excruciating the pain of that can be. And I know too well what it is to watch someone die in that kind of pain. Her daughter is a former editor-in-chief of The Villager–one of a number of young people who have become family to me over the years. Her emotional pain was palpable this afternoon. She had just come from her mother’s bedside.

After the dinner wrapped up I decided it was time to honor a promise I had made to another family who lost a child this year. They asked everyone to have a banana split sometime this summer in memory of their child. I had forgotten the flavors of the traditional banana split and I made sure I savored the taste–not just for that young man and his family–but for Jane as well. She loved ice cream. One of the best parts of any hot summer’s day was when Jane would turn to me and suggest it was time for some ice cream.

Rule One really is that we are all going to die sometime of something. And Rule Two is that we cannot–at least not yet–change Rule One.  But that does not mean we stop trying to save lives. That does not mean that we give up searching for ways to heal wounds and cure diseases. We may have to let the dying go, but it does not mean we have to let them go without putting up a fight.

Go back 500 years and human life expectancies were in the low to mid-40s. Today, life expectancies in the US are close to double that. That does not happen if we just accept the status quo.

So Hawkeye never gives up. Neither will I–though today, I want to.