I spent most of the day outside working on the lawn and the vegetable garden. The nearly constant rain of the last two weeks combined with my schedule have put me miles behind on the yard work. I am amazed how fast the grass and weeds can get out of control without constant attention.

All morning it looked like it might rain, but I felt I had no choice. Gradually, the sky cleared and the humidity dropped. I re-mulched the places in the garden that had gotten a bit thin with some of the new mowed grass. Normally, I leave the clippings on the lawn, but the grass was so high doing that would have smothered it. It takes longer when I have to bag the clippings, but they make good mulch–and what I don’t use feeds the compost pile.

I spent the afternoon weeding the back beds that have not been planted yet. I am still debating what goes in there. Beans and fall peas for certain, and maybe I will try some fall spinach again–though that rarely works out for me.

I finished planting two beds with squash and melons. My squash plants always do well, but the melons rarely produce anything worth eating. At this point in the year, I am always optimistic.

I made my weekly trip to the cemetery about 4 p.m. Because it was so late, I had to go in through the side gate and walk through several sections to get to Jane’s grave. I put three stones at the base of the grave–one for her, one for me, and one for us. I stood there talking to her, though I know she is long gone from that place. Then someone came by and told me she had just seen a bunch of baby foxes not far from where I was standing and that their mother had to be around somewhere. I took that as a sign it was time to go.

When I got home, I decided to take a walk around the lawn. I did that all the time before Jane got sick. I still do it now, though not as often. Sometimes looking at the beds we built together is just too hard. But it seemed okay today. And just as I started, I almost tripped over a baby bunny at the edge of the lawn on the north side where my neighbor and I leave the grass long to provide cover for the birds and rabbits and the like.

The bunny largely ignored me. I got within six feet of it and all he did was twist his head a bit to keep an eye on me. The birds in the back yard largely ignored me as well.

Yesterday, my father told me I was becoming obsessed with this cancer thing. Earlier in the day a complete stranger at the conference I was at asked me if I was taking time for me periodically. A friend had said something similar a couple of weeks ago.

I had one or two things I had to do today: I had a call this morning about Relay and I had two quick posts I had to make about that. And I wanted to write this piece tonight.

But most of the day, I put NET and Relay in a box and put it on the shelf. The world did not end. And for a change, I feel almost human.

And that’s a good thing.